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Ms. Barbera's Blog Follow Ms. Barbera's online column at the Long Island divorce examiner Bearing the Divorce Maze and Winning Ms. Barbera's Book, "Braving the Divorce Maze and Winning" is now available!

"In a world where knowledge is power, this book is meant to empower all those in relationships or entering relationships about what to be aware of and prepared for in case they or someone they know is in need of a divorce. This book outlines what every spouse should be aware of in their marriage and takes the reader through the entire divorce process including how to pick the right attorney. A must read in this highly litigious society."

The Law Offices of Barbera & McElhone, P.C.
428 Route 25A, P.O. Box 5595
Miller Place, NY 11764
Phone: 631-791-9693
Fax: 631-473-2648
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The Mediation Process

The Mediation Process

What is Mediation?

Long Island Mediation Lawyer - Suffolk County - New York

Phone: 631-791-9693

Conveniently located on Long Island, the mediation lawyers at the Law Offices of Barbera & McElhone can facilitate the mediation process on behalf of couples throughout New York. To understand the mediation process better, please review the information below.

In this age of litigation and conflict one form of dispute resolution remains the best course for couples wishing to dissolve their bands of marriage. Away from the impersonal process and black robes of a courtroom, Mediation offers a haven from the high costs of forensics and intermediaries bent on substituting their beliefs and parenting skills on parties who are better equipped and more informed than the interlopers offered by the system.

The parties together meet with the mediator at her office and discuss the goals that they share in coming together to dissolve their marriage. It is important for all parties to be honest in divulging the finances of the marriage and to enter the process eager to come to a resolution. Each party needs to put aside all emotions as much possible and realize that at this point there has already been a decision made to dissolve the marriage. Fault is irrelevant in mediation and anger has no place in the session. The parties must be willing to give and take in order to come to an agreement which is fair to each of them.

Mediation sessions are usually 1 to 2 hours in length and usually 1 to 3 sessions is all that is required. The mediator should be able to put together a draft of the agreement after the first session and the proceeding sessions should be spent hammering out any unresolved matters.

Having outside attorneys review the agreement is a double-edged sword. While clearly both parties are entitled to get input from an impartial advocate, sometimes the input received if not presented correctly to the other party during the mediation may in fact signal the end of the mediation process. Both parties need to understand that they must use a certain amount of discretion in coming to an agreement and realize that they will not walk away with everything they want. (live and take is a requirement in order for mediation to succeed. This is not to say that the parties should be kept in the dark about their respective rights, quite the contrary. The parties need to be truly informed of all of their rights, but must realize that negotiation is a two way street. Where they may succeed in one area they must be willing to give up something in another area.

Once an agreement is reached the formal written agreement is executed by both parties. If the parties desire, they may remain legally separated and the mediator will file a memorandum of the agreement with the court. Should the parties desire to completely dissolve the marriage, the mediator/attorney may prepare the uncontested documentation for divorce. Once the papers are filed with the court, the parties can expect a divorce decree within approximately 5 weeks.

Contact a Long Island Mediation Lawyer

For more information on mediation, or to schedule a free confidential consultation with an experienced Long Island mediation lawyer, please call us at 631-791-9693, e-mail us, or fill out our intake form on our Contact Us page.

For information on whether to mediate, please look at our article on The Decision to Mediate.


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Long Island attorneys Janine A. Barbera and James E. McElhone practice all aspects of Personal Injury, including Automobile/Car Accidents, Truck/Trailer Accidents, Construction Site Accidents, Animal Bites, Premise Liability, Landlord Liability, Defective Products/Product Liability, Slip and Fall, Wrongful Death, Pedestrian Accidents, Bicycle Accidents. The firm serves Miller Place and surrounding areas of Suffolk County, Long Island, including Rocky Point, Port Jefferson, Islip, Smithtown, Farmingville, Centereach, Selden, Bohemia, Stony Brook, Setauket, Holbrook, Coram, Middle Island, Medford and Lake Ronkonkoma. The other practice areas include Family Law and Criminal Law.

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