Decision to Divorce
Should You Divorce?
Long Island Divorce Lawyer - Suffolk County - New York
Phone: (631) 473-5100
Conveniently located on Long Island, the divorce lawyers at the Law Offices of Barbera & McElhone can represent men and women throughout New York in their divorce. To decide if divorce is the best option for you, and to familiarize yourself with the divorce process, please review the information below.
“I’ve never done this before.” Says my client as she/he walks through the door. This is the most common first line that I hear. Most people unless they have gone through a prior divorce are unsure as to how to proceed in attempting to dissolve their marriage.
My first inquiry to the client is to whether or not they have sought marriage counseling, with my follow up question as to whether they themselves are in therapy. The client needs to be aware that I am their “last resort” so to speak. Starting a divorce action should not be seen as a way to “scare” their spouse into appropriate behavior. Once I am convinced that the party is serious about the marriage being over, I insist that if I am to be retained that they be under the care of a therapist. For my benefit as well as their own, they need someone to help them through this emotionally charged time in their lives. As their lawyer, I need to be free from emotional decision making and need to have a client capable of calling the shots based on my advice and not their own indecision.
At this point in the conversation, I attempt to advise the client as to what I think the likely impact that a divorce will have on their lives. Finances play an important roll in divorce negotiations, therefore the client is advised to present as complete a picture of the finances of the marriage as possible.
Once my services are retained, a letter is sent out to the spouse. This letter serves as an introduction of sorts advising the spouse of the mindset of my client in wanting to dissolve the marriage and giving them an opportunity to contact me themselves or through counsel to resolve this amicably without court intervention.
The letter usually gives the spouse 10 days to respond. Should the correspondence fail to illicit a response from the spouse, my client is requested to bring in a statement of grounds for divorce. I request that the client provide 5 instances over the last 5 years of emotional, mental, physical or verbal cruelty by their spouse.
The spouse is thereafter sewed with the summons and complaint for divorce and has 20 days to respond the action. In most cases an attorney is obtained by the spouse and the litigation process begins. Of course, the attorneys at any time can put together a settlement agreement and attempt to avoid court, however, once the matter is placed on the court’s calendar, it is subject to certain judicial time constraints. Periodically, the court will require appearances in order to ascertain the status of the case and make decisions to motions along the way.
The final agreement either arrived at by mutual consent of the parties or by a judicial order following a trial will usually end the matter. The complexity of the issues, along with the level of disagreement all come into play in determining the time frame of the matter. A contested divorce with many issues may take years to resolve, while those less complicated may be resolved within a years time.
For more information on the divorce process, or to schedule a free confidential consultation with an experienced Long Island divorce lawyer, please call us at (631) 473-5100, e-mail us, or fill out our intake form on our Contact Us page.
